Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
