did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
