you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Who died my cat blue again?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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