I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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