VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How external is "for external use only"?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize