By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
