Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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