Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
