yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If that was your dad, he is hot
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
