Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
