Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize