I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
pray to the hookup gods
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
