He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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