No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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