Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
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I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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