"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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