actually, I'm a sock model
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
