Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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