finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize