I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
They have beer where we have blood.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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