she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
