brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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