Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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