Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
