I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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