Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Vodka?
Forever.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
