If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
