I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
