rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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