if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
