is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
