There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
