Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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