the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
