she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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