I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
