Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize