after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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