sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
