If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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