I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
