i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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