I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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