Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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