Christians are straight up FREAKS
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
How naked do you want me to be?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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