you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
