Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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