I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
