Is it normal to miss your booty call?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
