i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I need to stop coming to work sober
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
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I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
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I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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