We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize