i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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