Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
