Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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