i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
