Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize