If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
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AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize