theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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