Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize