and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize