I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Do vagina's smell?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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