it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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